Thursday, March 14, 2013
I cried myself to sleep / I am OK
Last night I sat on my bed and thought of all the change that needs to happen around here.
A hard day does that to me. Makes me reevaluate.
I typed my last post and started planning in my head.
I then hopped onto Facebook and there some slightly harsh. Not terribly helpful words left me in a sad place.
Then I tried to sleep. I am not a good sleeper at the best of times. My mind is so full of noise and colours that I cannot shut it off. There is no off switch, or sleep function to my mind. But last night I lay in bed and cried. I cried myself to sleep.
How dramatic does that sound? Quite. I am aware.
I typed out my last post and thought that would be enough to quieten my mind. But after Facebook it wasn't.
The tears flowed and I judged myself. I wondered if I am really doing it all so wrong?
I decided no I am not.
But some changes do need to be made.
Made because I know they do, not because of words on Facebook.
I need to pick myself up. Dust myself off. Then keep on keeping on.
It is OK to struggle. It is OK to not always be my best.
It is OK. I am OK.
All will be OK.
Today has been quiet.
My mind has been free to wander.
I have read. I have talked to my little ones. I have snuggled.
I have sat outside and just let myself be.
I need to be kind to myself.