Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Gossip


random cake pic for a picture-less post.


Do you gossip?
If so does it ever bother you?

I am not a big gossip. I have been aware of gossip and how it makes me feel horrible for some time now and because of that I make a real effort to not do it often.

Because after a gossip session with a friend I always feel really bad.
I feel guilty and disappointing in myself.

I have enough things in my life to concentrate conversation on.
I find my my friends really interesting and surely have enough things to talk about.
So why is it so easy to let conversation slip to gossip?

I am not a nasty person. I don't talk horribly about people.
But I do sometimes find I end up talking to one friend about what another friend is up to.
Or a topic will lead me to tell about a story another friend told me.
Or I will tell a friend about how I am worried about so and so.
OR I let another friend talk about someone else, possibly in a negative manner.

Not overly bad things. But still gossip.
It is not my place to tell my friends stories, or if I feel like its a really important thing to say make sure its not obvious who I am talking about. You know the "I have a friend who went through that, it was hard but this helped her" type comment.

If a friend starts to negatively gossip I need to find a way to gently change the subject.

Maybe I need to actually make people aware that I want to gossip no more.

I don't want to be a friend who can't be trusted.
I don't want to damage friendships by over sharing their information.
I don't want this sinking feeling when I let myself behave in a way I don't want to.

Today I found myself having a gossip conversation.
It wasn't nasty. AT ALL. Or wasn't to me. But it wasn't my place to even reference this.
I came home and thought about it and that sinking feeling in my chest and I knew I was unhappy with how I had talked.
It is not who I want to be.

SO

Do you gossip?
Are you even aware when you do?
Does it bother you?
Do you try and stare clear?





1 comment:

Angela Noelle of SK said...

I find the grey areas the hardest -- don't you? Isn't it natural to ask after a mutual friend or discuss your thrill at developments you both know of? But then it can quickly develop into more. I think the policy that I strive for is that I should always feel comfortable sending a text summing up what was said TO THE SUBJECT MATTER afterwards helps (whether I do it or not -- could I?), e.g. "Saw Amee today, we both agreed you look foxy in your new 'do!!" But overall, it's so much safer to avoid it, huh? Oh, man. I think the fact you're even concerned about it is a sign you're more aware and considerate than most.